Sunday we talked about extravagant love...love beyond the expected, the oridinary, the minimum requirement. In that context, we offered an extreme example of love - forgiveness. Whom do you need to forgive? Is there someone you need to let off the hook? There are a great many misunderstandings regarding forgiveness. Let me explain what forgiveness is not. Forgiveness is not making excuses for that person who hurt you. They hurt you and it was real. Forgiveness is not minimizing the hurt. It hurt. Forgiveness is not justifying it, saying it was no big deal. It was a big deal. Forgiveness is not saying it wasn’t wrong. It was wrong.
So what is forgiveness? Forgiveness is letting go of the pain and letting go of my right to get even. Why would anybody do that? Do it for your own sake. Do it because you are living in misery the longer you hold it on. Forgiveness is a gift you bring to your own life.
Some folks are still allowing people from their past to hurt them. Every time you hold onto resentment or a grudge, you are perpetuating your own pain. The past is past. Those past hurts only hurt you if you refuse to let them go. You hold onto it as resentment and you are hurting yourself, and God says, “You’ve got to let it go.” Forgiveness is the only way to get on with your life. Did they deserve it? No. Do you deserve to be forgiven by God? No. But God did it anyway out of his grace and kindness. The Lord provides our example.
Must forgiving be tied to forgetting to be real? When we come to God in repentance, He readily forgives our sin. Does that mean God forgets our sin? God's forgiveness does not cause Him to have a bad memory. His forgiveness means that our past sin has no bearing how He relates to us today. When we forgive someone who has hurt us, it doesn't mean we have blocked it from memory. It just means that the previous hurt has no bearing on our relationship with the forgiven person today.
Forgiveness doesn't come easily and for the big hurts that may come our way it may take a while to get there. Finally, one day, you hear the offender mentioned. You see them at the mall. You cross paths at a school event. It is then that you realize that you aren't angry anymore. You don't turn red in the face and your pulse doesn't quicken. You have peace from God and with them. Forgiveness has become a reality. It's worth the effort.
Starting to understand that forgiveness is more about me and God than anything else. I loved the video where the lady was asked to speak to the young man who killed her son in the court room. She said that as she looked at him she clearly saw the hand of Christ on his shoulder begging her to forgive her son's killer, His creation. It goes back to obedience. When we do what He asks us to do, it really is for our benefit....
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